Searching out the new me

So - it has been a while since I have written in here, and please do not think that I have not been wanting to. I have thought about it, only to have fallen asleep each night before accomplishing what I want to.

Saturday and Sunday I went to Jazzercise and worked out like a crazy person.  It was very fun seeing how the different instructors teach very different classes.  I am enjoying going, and if I go one more time this week, then I can go purchase a new pair of work out pants for myself.  I really have to reward myself for doing well - as this is very difficult for me.  Things are tight money wise right now - so I might not buy pants and call my new shoes my gift to me.  I need to get some new work out shoes, and there is a New Balance store by my house.  I am going to go and check out what they have.

So - on my way to health, I have been thinking about what else I can do to create a healthy place for me, and a good place for me to be healthy.  I moved the treadmill into the living room so I can walk on it during tv shows, and rearranged the living room and the dining room to give me something different in there.  

I am also under a new insurance with my husband.  He has AMAZING insurance, and it covers so many different things.  I went for the first time to a Chiropractor yesterday.  I was nervous, and didn't know what it was going to be like.  He sat and listened to everything that was bothering and hurting me, and was very nice about it.  He also talked to me about exercises and nutrition, and how we were going to work together to make some of the pain go away - and I may even have days that my back no longer hurts - but that we would do the best that we can.  So great!  Before I left, he did an adjustment (cracked my back around) and asked me for my food journal.  I just have to get it from my Dr.  Not a big deal.

I also went to a podiatrist.  I am such an old lady. HA!  I went because I wanted them to at least look at my feet and do some xrays.  About 10 years ago a fractured a bone in my foot, and every time I walk around on it with new shoes on, it feels like I have re fractured it again for a few days.  SO.... he xrayed, it is fine, and then also fit me for some Orthodics.  I am glad to be getting them, but will also be ordering some from the Chiropractor as well because his are made differently.  I know they are expensive, but I am lucky enough to have my new insurance that covers up to 10k of them each year.... YAY!

sigh.

So today didnt work out as well as I was hoping it would.  I got up and weighed in, and somehow in 3 days gained back my 1.3 lbs.  And of course.... I know why it has happened - my snacking is out of control.  I need to fix it.  Today my hubby and I are going out to dinner... and we are going to be going to Buffalo Wild Wings - of course I am going to get a small portion, but in the meantime, leading up to there - I need to find some healthy way to get myself through this.  It is just figuring out how.  I might just say screw it and go to weight watchers today - hoping that it will make a difference, but we will see.  

Things happen...

So - the day goes well.  I wake up, take care of a few things - and I weigh in.  I am down to 180.2 lbs! YAY!  Down 0.7 in two or three days, which feels AMAZING.  But I think maybe too amazing.  I got two fruits and veggies in, so tomorrow I am still going to work for 3 of them - however, I decided to have some cake - ya know, that cake that comes in a bowl, you microwave it to cook it - it was good... but now I have a CRAZY headache and am feeling sick.  It is amazing to see what happens with your body when you have stayed away from crazy refined things, even for just a few days!  Then, because I already felt like crap - I got Taco Bell.  And my face is red... And I think I have a fever..

I did substitute today in a class where one kid puked and two others were absent sick today - I hope that it didnt cause me to feel junky.  

By the way - I am a HUGE fan of the small snack packs from Trader Joe's that are organic carrots and buttermilk ranch dressing... YUMMERS!

I dont know what is worse - hell or weigh in day

Ok,

So yesterday I weighed myself at 180.9 lbs - that is down 1.3 from the last time I weighed in... and I took semi official measurements.  

Neck 15

Chest 40.5

Waist 38

Hips 45

I also did my thighs, and they are around 26, and my calves are both around 15 - my biceps are close to the same also - 13.5.

I have been doing good lately.  Watching more carefully what I put in my mouth, and  the exciting part today was that I actually ate two of my veggies!!! AMAZING!  I had a banana and carrots.  This may not sound like a big deal, but I dont do fruits and veggies very often, so it is an exciting thing darnit!

I went again to Jazzercise, and am thinking about doing Weight Watchers again... but I really need to try this on my own and try to count it myself, or get an idea by myself before I pay someone 40 bucks a month to tell me my fat ass is too big. lol.

I have been having chocolate, and have been saying no to it as well.  I am going to cut it down even more, and try to rock out with 3 fruits and veggies tomorrow.  When I weigh in tomorrow morning, we will for sure see where I am at!!!

And strike one for Chocolate!

I am amazing!  A whole day without chocolate! YAY!  I did it - I almost gave in a few times too, it was a tough day.  My husband came near me after eating some chocolate and tried to kiss me - I TOTALLY freaked out at him about it.  Then, I went and brushed my teeth to make sure I wouldn't eat anymore.  

My biggest problem is I can't say no to food.  I love food.  Everything about food is wonderful and makes me happy.  And that is the problem.  It really isn't making me happy - it is filling some emotional hole that I don't understand.  That is something I will write about on another day...

In the meantime, I BEAT THE CHOCOLATE.. Yeah, I know - Big deal fat chick - one day without chocolate.  You still had a peppermint candy, and drank some Mt. Dew (it wasn't diet either!)  But I am just proud because the chocolate is all over my house, and it isn't fair to my husband to hide it or to just throw it all out.  

Some of the ways I did it????  Selected another snack - I had an egg, I had a peppermint candy for sweetness, I made a sweeter dinner - that ROCKED!!!! Stuffed french toast - but it was a Weight Watchers recipe and only 2 points per serving, I had two servings, and it was TOTALLY worth it!  Ate some string cheese, worked on taking down Christmas decorations, and just kept myself away from it.  There were a few times that I really wanted to pounce, but I didn't!

So tomorrow, as a treat, I am going to reward myself for my accomplishment.  I will get to have half of my "bumpy lumpy bar" that I bought today.  But, I have to wait until 3pm to have it.  I haven't had one before, so if it is good - then yay! If not, then I will learn not to reward myself with food - which is another hurdle that I need to clear.  But also - the words bumpy lumpy are not awesome... the treat is telling me exactly what it is going to do to my body.  HA!  So I wont want to eat too much. 

Really - at this point in the game, it is me working on the things that I have trouble saying no to, and the things that I feel that I can't control!  I AM TAKING BACK THE CONTROL! WOO HOO!!!

The other day I hurt my foot - it is the same place that I fractured it about 10 years ago, and I am frustrated because I want to make it to Jazzercise tomorrow.  I will work on getting there, and in the meantime, I wish everyone who reads this a wonderful night, and send them my non chocolate strength!!!

A day of cleaning and self reflection

I am a crazy list maker.  When I can make a list, I do - because the feeling of scratching something off of it makes me feel so wonderful.  I make lists of the lists that I need to make.  When I was in college I would write down things that I need to do on my way to class, along with my schedule, and I would cross of things that I did at different times.

Well today I have a big list.  We are still cleaning up from new years - we have a HUGE party this year, and 2008/2009 party was no exception.  We are also trying to get our lives in order so we can start to follow and step in line with our resolutions.  It is currently 11:46 and I have completed 3 things on my list... look for jobs, shower, and create the calendar for this month and the first half of Feb.

At this point - I have not hit up the chocolate - and my main goal for today is to not touch it.  The past few days I have been so good, up until noon - in which case I immediately jump for the chocolate sitting on the dining room table that is still left over from the new years party.  Yes, I know it shouldn't be there, but I feel that I should at least be able to walk by it on a rare occasion, knowing that it is there, and still not attack it like the clones to Obi Wan... at least, I think that they attacked him... 

I am off to grocery shop and get a bunch of fun stuff done, I wish all of you a happy new year - and will write about my chocolate progress this evening!

Good til noon

Ok - so today is halfway done, and I have already caused some damage... but all I can do is pick myself up and keep movin!  I had a good breakfast and some hot water with lemon... and then around noon I realized that I wanted chocolate really really bad, and I had two dove birds and two blueberry muffins (Jiffy).  I need to keep moving on, and see what I can do for the rest of the day.  I need to get in my fruits and veggies, and be a good girl! 

Here is to workin a little harder today!